christmas happening around me

23th dec
went QB.buy smtg n hv a walk
saw digi doing promotion for data n phone
stopby ask smtg.suddenly her fren walk come.shock?
chat wif her frens abit.about phone n all d promotion
suddenly ask me hw r u.still ok.find someone better
i jz cn laughing all d way.dn noe should gv wad ans
laughter.the best cover for every situation for me

24th dec
today my dinner date wif her did nt work out
she dint msg me say anything.i noe means wad
dn dare msg her dy.till 11.56 wish her merry xmas =]
my xmas eve i told myself no matter at wher,dn at home
i dn wn like last year.disappointment.regret.bcz of her
tonite planned to go mois wif fren.bt last minute canceled
go straits quay hv dinner wif family.no countdown at ther lol
aft dat date another bunch of frens go mois.still going though
so many ppl over ther.my xmas eve although cnt wif her
bt i wish her all d best.i did make myself enjoy on dis day...
back 4am sleep one hour go work ady.so tired.haha

25th dec
its xmas today...ho ho ho merry xmas to all my frens
aft work back home lie down fall asleep ady
slept for 2hours+.woke up ady.going QB wif frens =]
we meet up at 洗布桥 n hv our dinner.2nd time went ther
1st time is wif her =]..today i ate curry mee n koay teow sup
last time wif her eat seafood n rice dint try.wao very nice both
aft meal.QB...went to walk walk n played game for awhile
10.30,i told her to wait for me at coffee bean.for d present..
went to car take.walking to coffee bean saw her ady.gv her
den oni i noe she jz parked bhind my car.lol...
she forget i ask her to wait me ler.lucky saw her cn gv her
gv her n say merry xmas,she take it say thx.walk to car ady
my fren scold n laf me.said im stupid,they dn noe i wait her d
bt i jz treat her as fren nw.i let go ady,dint like b4 so emo n sad
jz a present as a fren.i nt wasting money.its a present for her
hope she will like my present.its frm a santa fren.me =DDD
treat me as a fren.will b d best present for me

i started undstd one thing.LOVE..nt to own another person
frm d beginning.i wn to gv her happiness.i wn her happy everyday
jz is nt me who gving her happiness nw.shes happy wif him...
i should wish her all d best.n blessing for her
i noe she dn love me anymore.dn wn any connection wif me
bt u cant stop me frm loving her.its my love story.i wrote myself
i dn wn to force myself forget her.finally suffering myself
i cn live myself.dn msg her dn disturb her or let she saw me
my fren ask me to find one gf n get new life.bt i dn nid dat
im nt ready for dat.i gt her in my mind.i nt get gf for fun
i wn to face my true feeling.follow my heart voice,dats all
continue wad i tink its right.stop wad it should be stop
let go wad its nt mine.bt grab n appreciate wad i wn in my life
she is one i wn to be wif for d rest of my life.the one
the one i wn to protect wif my everything.be my fren ya ;)
nw cn c her happy..noe shes happy.im glad ^^

im trying to be tough nw =]

its been around one week dint update my blog
keep  busy wif my work,kinda lazy to update =p
2weeks ady.slept nt more than 3hours.shortest 1hour
im so tired.bt i dn wana close my eye.reminds of her
dis few days.every nite look up to d sky
i enjoy the sky full wif stars.i like to look up nw
2more days its christmas ady,am i very stupid?
i ask her if she free to hang out wif me
for a dinner or any meal when shes free
i jz treat her as fren.wana ask her for a meal
mayb inside my heart wana celebrate wif her
bt jz let it be normal.nt going to force anything
my off day spend wif my frens for movie n meal
im back to swimming.aft 2 or 3 years xD

dis saturday nite.christmas eve.whos gona be wif me
im still waiting for her ans.hope cn hv a dinner
if she nt free.i tink gona spend it wif my frens at mois
countdown party over there.i dn wn alone at home
at least at ther.i cn enjoy.drink.get wild...i hope so
gona gv her a present.as a fren.hope she like it

16/12.im sad today

today as usual very late sleep
very late wake.woke up 1st is on9
i receive her msg.ask me do phone thing
n she said dn wn hv any relation wif me dy
fren is fren...others jz cut everything between we two
dats kinda hurt for me.bt nt as hurt as dis one
i go c her prof pic.she deleted all d pic b4 dis
all the pics...i cant c her smile anymore ='[
the only smile dat she have it.i cant c it anymore
i oni cn rmb it in my memories.in my mind
im very sad.y did she delete all d pics
all dat pics is most true feeling n smile she wif me
i tot i cn continue view it frm time to time.bt nw...
i dint msg her few days ady since i return her d phone
i noe she ntg to say wif me dn wn reply me too
bt d pics oso delete all.i jz felt sadness in my heart...
d next thing she going to do.is it delete me frm her life?
shes happy wif her boyfriend.im happy for her

15/12...midnight 5.18am

hey blogger
its 5.18am midnite 15/12/11 rite now
im going to sleep ady jz wana update 1st
jz nw in haf hour i saw 10meteors
first time in my life i really saw meteors
yesterday 14/12 midnite i cant sleep too
go to balcony too n i saw 2meteors oni
jz nw frm the 1st till 10th meteor
i wish very hard towards the sky
hope my wish cn come true im sincere
next week is christmas ady.im still wishing
n 2more weeks its new year's eve
1st person in front of me in first second of 2012
who would it be?...i hv no idea.i wish is her.my fren
end up my 2011.n together welcome 2012
yesterday n today all my wish,is all connected
im jz wishing for one thing.say out all wads in heart
n today 10meteors.i blif it will come true,one day
btw today the sky full of stars.i hope cn enjoy wif her
my wish since last time i wif her...last time

i gv back her everything already
i gt no reason to let her msg me anymore
im scared.aft dis.will she still contact wif me?
or jz lost contact wif me n nt going to chat anymore
i begged.dn forget me pls.jz rmb me pls
i wn to be frens wif u.eventhough u wont tink bout me
bt sometime when u r lonely n boring.still cn msg me
if she really forget bout me.means...i vanish in her fren list
wont even hv chance to chat wif her d...dn happen pls

its 6am n im still awake!!!

oh god its 6am n im still awake
cant get into sleep yet
im still energized wad happen to me
dis blog is writing my sunday 11/12
hmm back frm work around 1pm oni sleep
5smtg woke up ady.hahaha.kinda swt
wake up damn hungry find things to eat d
sit on9 agn.same thing everyday
nite time go take dinner at mcd wif fren
2 of us chat wtv pass our mind
say back our skul time oso.haha so fun
back frm there 12smtg on9 till nw
dn noe wad i do dis 5hours+ LOL
on9 walk out balcony look up at the sky c moon
the moon is so beautiful so bright so nice
everytime giving me the same feeling.sadness
hmm.im nt emo-ing ok.i let go ady
bt cant stop me frm continue loving her right
love her frm my heart.din go disturb her say anything
i tink dis is d best i cn done for her =]
hope she wont forget me as fren.cn msg each other yet

10/12

ohh no lately im having insomnia agn
stay awake till 12smtg oni sleep
around 5 woke up ady so boring lar
whole day at home no where to go
my frens all ask me to forget everything
bt i jz telling myself
i cant be couple wif her.bt i hope still cn b fren
i will appreciate be fren wif her.dats wad i wn
dn worry i tink deeply ady,i will let go
bt i wont gv up in anything
let go.dint means i will give up(nt chase her)
let go frm hoping she come back my side
bt never gv up in my life.my dream.my world

today's song for me
adele - someone like you
nevermind i'll find.someone like you
i wish nothing but the best.for you too
don't forget me i beg.i remember u said:
'sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead'
very nice song love it =]

25/11 - 9/12.keep save as draft.wrote so long.should post ady =]

9/12
y everytime i very determine to let go of u
u will come back in my dream visit me
its very hard feeling.i wana let go.bt u came back
i dn dare to sleep back anymore.im so scare
i dn wn to dream about u anymore.moment wif u
no matter the ending is wad.the process how hard it be
my world.would never wn u to vanish in thin air
hope u cn still be my fren.boring time msg me awhile ^^


8/12
i decided dn go tink anymore.she wont back to me d
tinking she will back wif me jz let me suffer more
its impossible for her to back jz like before
she chg to another person.heart belongs to someone else
i noe u n him very happy right now
mayb i cant gv u wad he cn gv u
for u,hes better than me.im nt like him such gud guy
i will let go.wont tinking to ask u back by my side
bt i wont forget u.u r the best thing in my life
u gv me no limit of changes in myself.i saw it...
to c u happy.dat is wad i wn gv u frm beginning
nw u get ur happiness.i will bless u with my best...
eventhough the one gv u happiness.is nt me anymore...

in dream i saw a couple.wedding bside d beach.damn romantic
i wish its me in dat wedding.hahaha.romantic ok
today listen to few song so nice for me
蘇打綠 - 當我們一起走過
Plain White T's - Rhythm Of Love


7/12
back frm work.sure open fb.first thing i saw...
make my heart fall frm high n broke into pieces
saw u posted a pic wif him.hw cn u like dis
so fast.u take pic n post out.im nt dead i saw it d
it took me 6months to hv 1st pic wif u
bt around one week.u having a pic wif him ady
jz nw morning work place get scold.sien nia
dn noe lar wad i did n i get ntg.going gv up ady
nite time one of her old fren add me in fb last days ago
we having a chat about studies n all dat
n she chat till me n her stuff
she really gv me lots lots of gud advice
she experienced situation jz like me b4
told me c her nw wif other.dn go drunk n hurt myself ady
hurting myself no one will pity me.even is her
told me so many thing.n share wif me.i tears tonight...
time...will be the cure for everything...
n please dn simply tag someone in fb pic
bcz the pic nt belongs to u n him.dn tag him inside

6/12
dis few days back frm work very late sleep
sleep few hours wake up ady.cant sleep well
forget someone.how hard could it be?
but i jz cant forget it.so easily
cz i put all my heart for her
anyone undstd wad im saying...


5/12
back frm work oso tired ady.awhile 9smtg go sleep d
woke up check on fb agn..same thing everyday
n i saw u posted a pic.a pic frm beach over there
wrote over there DAR♥...n i was speechless.wad cn i do
bt ur dis pic.remind me memories wif u
i went back to read our valentines day post at blog
our 1st valentine day.go out together n celebrate it
d pic u take on dat day.which is write on beach too
sadness struck my heart agn.dat memories.wont forget it
i go c her new bf.profile n pic everything
i found dat he gt a gf b4 dis.in a random pic
dat pic was posted around july.its like 4 to 5months ago
should i tell u dis matter??or u knew dat ady...
i jz scare he lie on u.hw cn he so fast forget her gf
did he really love u?or jz playing a puppy love??
i really hope he truely love u.dn wn to c u get hurt...

4/12
today slept till 12 smtg.bt still nt enuf.jz woke up myself
whole day at home so damn boring.no program today
no fren on9 all work.no ppl acc.called my fren
bt hes wif his gf n her family going out
dn noe y start to miss u agn.i tried nt to miss ady ok
hanging at fb check updates.suddenly saw u at pangkor.wif HIM
oh shit dat feeling.i dn noe hw to describe.so awful.so bad
we together for 3years+.everytime ask u go vacation or smtg
u say bz work.tired n no money.bt u jz back frm ns 4days
together wif him for nt more than 1 month.u cn go wif him ady
its kinda sad for me,n u never tink about my feeling anymore...
jz cn hope u really enjoy wif him over ther,nite shift.fking boring


3/12
haha today is my off day.cz wn go relative wedding
early wake ady.so sleepy.fetch my my mom bro n sis go
wear smarter handsome handsome go c gt girl bo xDD
erm.today nt much ppl lor cz all come drink tea eh
finiz time all go to d guy side drink agn.end up i slept there
haha sit at d sofa so sleepy d i jz sleep over there.nice
aftnoon back time damn it traffic jam.all work haf day
jam so long frustrated wif d traffic at penang.bike d best =D
rest awhile night go out agn wif my aunt them.frm kl =]
1st time eat double chicken special burger.so damn full
its going to 5 ady.wana sleep gao gao today till late xD
aftnoon msg her ask her for penang pesta go for a walk
too bad she said going for travel dn noe hw long oso
jz cn wait her back mayb ask her agn??haha


2/12
back frm work.check on fb updates.den sleep ady sleepy
fren ask for bowling bt too sleepy cant ride bike will fall asleep
suddenly someone called.its a name.i never expect...
call for asking me smtg.thx bcz i cn hear ur voice =].i cant sleep back
sry finally i cant help u.dat machine cant bluetooth i oso dn noe d
fb saw u wrote the love things wif him.im jealous for no reason =[
since i cant sleep back.n work fren frm spore back to penang
wif them all go out take my dinner.james foo western food
hv a great chat n meal over there.love in mango drinks =]
back frm there still early ler.ntg do damn boring...
sit till ass oso pain r.on9 check updates oni.3smtg ady.wn lie d
hw cn i forget about u faster huh...

1/12
1st day of december.1st post of d month.im going to start new life
omg 1 slept for 1hour yesterday nite.im super duper fking sleepy
working cutting my things.n i fall asleep.epic!!!!
my fren in front of me.ask me u fall asleep r?i was lafing along
damn 1st time i dint get gud sleep so many days.n 1hour sleep
back frm work sure is on9 first.n i saw...ur fb wrote u back dy
owh i tot is 3rd of dec oni back.dint noe u so fast back dy
u oso chg frm complicated to single.its nt a bad thing anyway
jz kinda weird y so fast u back.dint go ask u oso.take 2hours nap
wake up n go for relative wedding dinner.wear very smart =D
8smtg my fren suddenly msg me.say i should forget her.weird -.-

aft i back frm dinner.open fb.den oni i noe d reason
she put in relationship wif another guy ady.so fast...??
its her ns fren.n i jz cn noe her thing by c her fb.cant msg her ady
back to my dinner.im enjoy today at there.eat lots.drink lotsss
envy+sad+happy to c a new married couple.when is my time =]
jz cn c all the happy moment of the couple.n imagine mine xD
drink lots of beer.some of red wine.head getting heavier
back driving car fetching my mom n sis.oh god pls awake haha
im drunk ady.at there going to finiz time.i order a last song ^^
爱很简单by陶喆...i jz tink of dis song dat time.nice...
a comfort for myself.a wish for my relative...singing along
back time my mom suddenly come in my room n ask me n her
told her everything.jz wad she ask me.makes my wana cry
keep asking y so long will end.ask me hw oni is gud enuf
did i sad,did i ask her back,did i wn her back,who ask to break
omg my tears is on my eye ady.try so hard to look away nt to cry
mom said.some fate still cn come back.bt some once lost.is lost~

30/11
today is 30/11.its been one month ady since u ask to be fren
if we still together.today oso we together 3years 5months ady
time past by really like a blink of eye...
yesterday sleep 2hours plus cant wake nearly late for work
work morning somemore busy.so sleepy today
aft work back jz lie for awhile den wake up d.cant sleep well
nite time finally frens confirm.go neway 11pm till midnight
haha 1st time i go neway oni.wont too late i tink.paiseh nia
go NS near qb eat mee goreng.den up for singing session
6ppl den 1smtg one more come.7ppl singing so damn siok!!!
i sing alots.hmm.song of u n me.song of me.song of sad n happy
after all im happy.cn enjoy wif my frens.crazy wif them.TODAY
we sing till 4am!!my voice going to lost ady.throat so pain
back home its 4.30.dint take bath ady 5am nw wn sleep ady =]

i tink all about u n me ady,i wont go find u like before ady
msg u frequently.care u so much.today is 30th,mayb its time dy
i wish u all d best,jz cn wish u happiness.n becareful by urself
no matter in work.or new relationship.or life.all the best for u
dat day present for u.hope u like it.nw is last present..my blessing
hope our fate to be couple end.bt still cn be fren =]
2more days n u r back frm ns ady.aft 77-4days holiday of NS life
dn noe y i msg u aft i back frm neway.wish u happy december xD

29/11
4smtg oni sleep yesterday.lucky work noon today =]
wake up go work ady.tension at work place
one ppl working today.dozen of a la carte order
wrote 6ppl.bt 20+ of orders.fuck i hate one ppl working
all my frens work morning shift.so lonely today
back frm work.dn noe y go youtube listen song
all i listen is i sing wif u before at redbox
still rmb we wn to sing one song.snatching d mike
dn let another to sing.i tink back n smile myself
ur birthday.we sing together.surprise u wif d cake i make
dat memories.hw cn i forget all dat...redbox  ♥
my heart still staying at ur place.dint come back yet =[

28/11
lie very long last nite.i dn even noe wad time i slept
aft work i hv a very long chat wif one fren at work place
i say out everything in my heart.sadness n happiness
she gt her relationship prob too,jz sharing each other
nite time.went out hv dinner wif frens,chat along
aft dinner raining i cant back.3 of us went to near airport
heavy rain.n jz to c the moment of aircraft landing
inside the car,i oso told them everything,so so many thing
they comfort me n gv me all d advice,its very useful for me
im glad to hv my frens when i feel ntg left for me in dis world
aft the long chat n waiting for d landing.we go to station one QB
over ther we hv long chat.talk about work n all dat
mayb leaving is d best for me.i cn leave dis sad place
too many memories of u n me over here.everywhere,tink of u
till 2smtg oni back.raining.is it crying for me?

27/11
yesterday stay late till 3smtg oni sleep ady.6 wake for work
very tired bt lie down oni tink bout u.cant close my eye
its sunday.i noe u gt ur phone.aft work.cant control myself
take out my guts n msg u agn.pretend to ask u about phone
finally u replied me.wif a short msg.bt im glad to c ur msg
bt awhile.u ask me to cut all the phone line of u n me
u said dn wn to waste my money.is it jz a reason to leave me?
i said u cn pay me back.bt u refuse to do dat.im so sad
i ask u agn.i promise to gv u time.if i wait no matter hw long
is it i wont hv chance oso.for u to reconsider about me
u ans.dn like my pattern.me for u.left 习惯(used to it) in ur life
dn wait u,no chance oso,u tired wif me ady...dis kills me
i start to drink in my room agn.i cant accept all dis reason
u said gt some1 ady,jz duno whether he suits u or not
i jz cn tell u wish u all the best.left the pain for myself
everyone said.appreciate.n effort for love.bt i get ntg at d end
hard to accept.b4 ns ur smiles n everything so true,bt nw...
nite go my cousin lil baby birthday,all my relatives
tried so hard to smile.i dn wn let them noe anything
bt my aunt,which gt fb.saw all my things,n hv a chat wif me
dis talk really let me noe many things..including leaving...
i cant protect her forever.mayb she will get hurt or meet failure
bt by dat way.she will noe who is d best for her.n get mature...
thx very much to my aunt.actually shes still young.26?haha
share many stories n experience wif me.let me relax nt so emo


25/11
so emo.think of u.felt so lonely
aft work was thinking go back n drink agn
bt frens ask me go out hv some drink n chat
at there i make myself crazy talk all lame stuff
jz to make them laf.make myself act ntg happen
bt inside my heart,no one undstd the wound i get
dis few days im scared to sleep.im scare to dream u agn
around 4 reach home.bt sit till 5smtg oni go lie down
nt i dn wn to sleep.i jz scare...once i sleep.i wish to sleep forever
its nt i dn wn to wake.jz wn to stay in dream wif u
i dn wn wake up open my eyes n accept d fact u r nt wif me
so long dint msg u ady.hw r u over there...