Wednesday, January 11, 2012

9/1

its jz like a normal monday
i gt no place to go.all fren working
jz cn stay at home n on9 whole day
bt a call frm fren ask me to go for steamboat
jing huo guo bside new world park
went there jz for a chat wif them cz i gt work
bt i sat down n look back.its my fren ms J
wad a coincidence.go downtown still met her fren
chat wif them around 5minutes then ms J call me
actually i knew wad will happen next
i was so afraid to go further
at beginning i was hoping for a short talk
bt end up sat down n chat wif her n her frens
we talk lots lots lots of my prob
i enjoy the talk.eventhough i dn noe her frens LOL
voice in my heart.d secret.thing i done for her.hw i hurt myself
they seems to guess corret all of it?omg scary wey
dis chat really did gv me hard feeling.sadness
bt at last they do make me feel i should let go
thx ms J.for ur advice n wad u told me all of it
another person dat gt folow my blog.im happy xD
wao my family prob u knew dat too.surprised me o.O
i get wad u mean.n i shouldn't disturb her
end up work time really get emo agn.hahahaha

work time she msg me jz to return her smtg
its like so damn creepy aft i hv a hard chat
u msg me.making me hard to continue my night
i ask her.is it being a normal fren really let u suffer
n i get d ans.nw i noe it.i wont disturb u anymore
i really wishing so hard for ur happiness wif him
i wn to be a normal fren wif u.nt bcz i wn u back
i jz wn to care u as a fren.noe bout hws ur life going
i am worried bout u.bt i never say it out
jz bcz i wana be a fren dat u cn accept...
bt it seems im wrong
who said break up cn be fren?y i cant be fren wif her
im sry if any of my post.my words.my attitude
hurts u.let u tink i wn u back.or even disturbing ur life
my feeling to u.mayb will chg someday
bt rite nw.i jz wn to face it.instead of lying myself
i've told myself.never force myself forget u anymore
bcz dats jz suffer more than normal days
dn worry,nw onwards.ntg important.i wont disturb u
i am sorry,sincerely

Saturday, January 7, 2012

heartbeats

today so damn busy at work place
seriously im tired,i felt bored of my work place
bcz of dat stupid bonus.i jz cn wait...

im trying nt to tink u ady
bt for no reason.im going my normal day
u jz suddenly appeared in my mind
u makes my heartbeat alive once agn
u dint reply me for 3days dy~
its nt long.bt i felt its so damn long.so damn long...
i miss u so bad right now.i wish u cn msg wif me...

ur bday is coming.i saw u invite all ur frens on 21st
so many.primary frens.secondary frens...jz nt me ='[
i wish u cn jz ask me.im willing to go.i noe yr frens too
bt u jz dn invite me dis fren.im so sad...so depressed
i cn sit at d corner one ppl jz to share ur happiness
dis year.i was going to sing bday song to u agn
i was going to play guitar n sing.jz for u,as a surprise
jz like earlier time of ur bday.make a cake n sing bday song
bt i cant realize my surprise for u anymore dis year
nt even acc u celebrate ur bday.its very hard feeling
past 3years.no matter which date.i jz nid a day wif u
i miss back all the moment.i so miss you.did u noe dat...LJJ

ur bday dis year.if same i make a bday cake for u
will u accept it?as a present frm me dis fren?
i really dnt noe.im scared.u dn wn to accept...
jz let it be normal.if u really dn wn accept.its ok...
u gt lots of fren acc u dis year.sure will very very enjoy it
i miss you right now.hope cn hear more frm u jia

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

1st post for 2012!!

its 3rd of jan 2012 midnight 2.50am rite nw
i still rmb hw happy hw excited i am
when im writing 1st post in year 2011...
bcz im nt alone dat time,i gt my one
let me say about my last day of 2011
n d 1st day of 2012

31/12/2011
i jz back frm my trip.to d place i want to go wif her
night time 8smtg reached penang back home
rush to qb.i bought some souvenir for her
its dry strawberry n tea sachet gt mango flavour inside
she wn me to gv her other day,bt i insist to gv it today
bcz its new years eve.its nt like last year anymore...wif her
bt at dis moment.i jz wn to hv a look of her for my wish
even for a flash of her,its enuf.for me to end 2011
i gt d best memories in beginning of 2011 in my life
d end of 2011 i jz wish cn get to c her.dats all i wn to do
aft pass her d souvenir.she was like avoiding me.ntg to say
shes wif her frens.i jz leave them n walk away.im satisfied

last year wif her at straits quay countdown.1st time wif her
dis year i was trying nt to go there agn.its d place for us
bt i gt no place to go.till 11 fren ask me go there countdown
den i tink back.i shouldn't avoid.i should go n enjoy it
went ther wif frens.there was so crowded than last year
dis year d firework very nice.bt never nicer than last year
bcz last year 1st sec of 2011.shes jz bside me.im blessed...
hv a gud nite wif frens drinking at berlin bier houz today
aft dat went to 'xi bu qiao' hv our dinner.eat till full full =]
wish her all the best n msg her i jz wn to b fren wif her
hope she really cn let me fulfill my wish forever...
be fren wif me.i tink is nt dat over afterall
thx for being my fren.n sharing all d happiness wif me
dats d end of my new year's eve...

1/1/2012
sleep till 1smtg around 2pm.so tired frm yesterday
its sunday n new year day.jz wana go out.dats all
went to qb.hv my lunch n breakfast at 5smtg.starving
aft dat go watch movie wif frens.im happy today
bt nt as happy as last year,i still rmb everything in last year.haha

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

christmas happening around me

23th dec
went QB.buy smtg n hv a walk
saw digi doing promotion for data n phone
stopby ask smtg.suddenly her fren walk come.shock?
chat wif her frens abit.about phone n all d promotion
suddenly ask me hw r u.still ok.find someone better
i jz cn laughing all d way.dn noe should gv wad ans
laughter.the best cover for every situation for me

24th dec
today my dinner date wif her did nt work out
she dint msg me say anything.i noe means wad
dn dare msg her dy.till 11.56 wish her merry xmas =]
my xmas eve i told myself no matter at wher,dn at home
i dn wn like last year.disappointment.regret.bcz of her
tonite planned to go mois wif fren.bt last minute canceled
go straits quay hv dinner wif family.no countdown at ther lol
aft dat date another bunch of frens go mois.still going though
so many ppl over ther.my xmas eve although cnt wif her
bt i wish her all d best.i did make myself enjoy on dis day...
back 4am sleep one hour go work ady.so tired.haha

25th dec
its xmas today...ho ho ho merry xmas to all my frens
aft work back home lie down fall asleep ady
slept for 2hours+.woke up ady.going QB wif frens =]
we meet up at 洗布桥 n hv our dinner.2nd time went ther
1st time is wif her =]..today i ate curry mee n koay teow sup
last time wif her eat seafood n rice dint try.wao very nice both
aft meal.QB...went to walk walk n played game for awhile
10.30,i told her to wait for me at coffee bean.for d present..
went to car take.walking to coffee bean saw her ady.gv her
den oni i noe she jz parked bhind my car.lol...
she forget i ask her to wait me ler.lucky saw her cn gv her
gv her n say merry xmas,she take it say thx.walk to car ady
my fren scold n laf me.said im stupid,they dn noe i wait her d
bt i jz treat her as fren nw.i let go ady,dint like b4 so emo n sad
jz a present as a fren.i nt wasting money.its a present for her
hope she will like my present.its frm a santa fren.me =DDD
treat me as a fren.will b d best present for me

i started undstd one thing.LOVE..nt to own another person
frm d beginning.i wn to gv her happiness.i wn her happy everyday
jz is nt me who gving her happiness nw.shes happy wif him...
i should wish her all d best.n blessing for her
i noe she dn love me anymore.dn wn any connection wif me
bt u cant stop me frm loving her.its my love story.i wrote myself
i dn wn to force myself forget her.finally suffering myself
i cn live myself.dn msg her dn disturb her or let she saw me
my fren ask me to find one gf n get new life.bt i dn nid dat
im nt ready for dat.i gt her in my mind.i nt get gf for fun
i wn to face my true feeling.follow my heart voice,dats all
continue wad i tink its right.stop wad it should be stop
let go wad its nt mine.bt grab n appreciate wad i wn in my life
she is one i wn to be wif for d rest of my life.the one
the one i wn to protect wif my everything.be my fren ya ;)
nw cn c her happy..noe shes happy.im glad ^^

Friday, December 23, 2011

im trying to be tough nw =]

its been around one week dint update my blog
keep  busy wif my work,kinda lazy to update =p
2weeks ady.slept nt more than 3hours.shortest 1hour
im so tired.bt i dn wana close my eye.reminds of her
dis few days.every nite look up to d sky
i enjoy the sky full wif stars.i like to look up nw
2more days its christmas ady,am i very stupid?
i ask her if she free to hang out wif me
for a dinner or any meal when shes free
i jz treat her as fren.wana ask her for a meal
mayb inside my heart wana celebrate wif her
bt jz let it be normal.nt going to force anything
my off day spend wif my frens for movie n meal
im back to swimming.aft 2 or 3 years xD

dis saturday nite.christmas eve.whos gona be wif me
im still waiting for her ans.hope cn hv a dinner
if she nt free.i tink gona spend it wif my frens at mois
countdown party over there.i dn wn alone at home
at least at ther.i cn enjoy.drink.get wild...i hope so
gona gv her a present.as a fren.hope she like it

Saturday, December 17, 2011

16/12.im sad today

today as usual very late sleep
very late wake.woke up 1st is on9
i receive her msg.ask me do phone thing
n she said dn wn hv any relation wif me dy
fren is fren...others jz cut everything between we two
dats kinda hurt for me.bt nt as hurt as dis one
i go c her prof pic.she deleted all d pic b4 dis
all the pics...i cant c her smile anymore ='[
the only smile dat she have it.i cant c it anymore
i oni cn rmb it in my memories.in my mind
im very sad.y did she delete all d pics
all dat pics is most true feeling n smile she wif me
i tot i cn continue view it frm time to time.bt nw...
i dint msg her few days ady since i return her d phone
i noe she ntg to say wif me dn wn reply me too
bt d pics oso delete all.i jz felt sadness in my heart...
d next thing she going to do.is it delete me frm her life?
shes happy wif her boyfriend.im happy for her

Thursday, December 15, 2011

15/12...midnight 5.18am

hey blogger
its 5.18am midnite 15/12/11 rite now
im going to sleep ady jz wana update 1st
jz nw in haf hour i saw 10meteors
first time in my life i really saw meteors
yesterday 14/12 midnite i cant sleep too
go to balcony too n i saw 2meteors oni
jz nw frm the 1st till 10th meteor
i wish very hard towards the sky
hope my wish cn come true im sincere
next week is christmas ady.im still wishing
n 2more weeks its new year's eve
1st person in front of me in first second of 2012
who would it be?...i hv no idea.i wish is her.my fren
end up my 2011.n together welcome 2012
yesterday n today all my wish,is all connected
im jz wishing for one thing.say out all wads in heart
n today 10meteors.i blif it will come true,one day
btw today the sky full of stars.i hope cn enjoy wif her
my wish since last time i wif her...last time

i gv back her everything already
i gt no reason to let her msg me anymore
im scared.aft dis.will she still contact wif me?
or jz lost contact wif me n nt going to chat anymore
i begged.dn forget me pls.jz rmb me pls
i wn to be frens wif u.eventhough u wont tink bout me
bt sometime when u r lonely n boring.still cn msg me
if she really forget bout me.means...i vanish in her fren list
wont even hv chance to chat wif her d...dn happen pls

Monday, December 12, 2011

its 6am n im still awake!!!

oh god its 6am n im still awake
cant get into sleep yet
im still energized wad happen to me
dis blog is writing my sunday 11/12
hmm back frm work around 1pm oni sleep
5smtg woke up ady.hahaha.kinda swt
wake up damn hungry find things to eat d
sit on9 agn.same thing everyday
nite time go take dinner at mcd wif fren
2 of us chat wtv pass our mind
say back our skul time oso.haha so fun
back frm there 12smtg on9 till nw
dn noe wad i do dis 5hours+ LOL
on9 walk out balcony look up at the sky c moon
the moon is so beautiful so bright so nice
everytime giving me the same feeling.sadness
hmm.im nt emo-ing ok.i let go ady
bt cant stop me frm continue loving her right
love her frm my heart.din go disturb her say anything
i tink dis is d best i cn done for her =]
hope she wont forget me as fren.cn msg each other yet

Saturday, December 10, 2011

10/12

ohh no lately im having insomnia agn
stay awake till 12smtg oni sleep
around 5 woke up ady so boring lar
whole day at home no where to go
my frens all ask me to forget everything
bt i jz telling myself
i cant be couple wif her.bt i hope still cn b fren
i will appreciate be fren wif her.dats wad i wn
dn worry i tink deeply ady,i will let go
bt i wont gv up in anything
let go.dint means i will give up(nt chase her)
let go frm hoping she come back my side
bt never gv up in my life.my dream.my world

today's song for me
adele - someone like you
nevermind i'll find.someone like you
i wish nothing but the best.for you too
don't forget me i beg.i remember u said:
'sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead'
very nice song love it =]

25/11 - 9/12.keep save as draft.wrote so long.should post ady =]

9/12
y everytime i very determine to let go of u
u will come back in my dream visit me
its very hard feeling.i wana let go.bt u came back
i dn dare to sleep back anymore.im so scare
i dn wn to dream about u anymore.moment wif u
no matter the ending is wad.the process how hard it be
my world.would never wn u to vanish in thin air
hope u cn still be my fren.boring time msg me awhile ^^


8/12
i decided dn go tink anymore.she wont back to me d
tinking she will back wif me jz let me suffer more
its impossible for her to back jz like before
she chg to another person.heart belongs to someone else
i noe u n him very happy right now
mayb i cant gv u wad he cn gv u
for u,hes better than me.im nt like him such gud guy
i will let go.wont tinking to ask u back by my side
bt i wont forget u.u r the best thing in my life
u gv me no limit of changes in myself.i saw it...
to c u happy.dat is wad i wn gv u frm beginning
nw u get ur happiness.i will bless u with my best...
eventhough the one gv u happiness.is nt me anymore...

in dream i saw a couple.wedding bside d beach.damn romantic
i wish its me in dat wedding.hahaha.romantic ok
today listen to few song so nice for me
蘇打綠 - 當我們一起走過
Plain White T's - Rhythm Of Love


7/12
back frm work.sure open fb.first thing i saw...
make my heart fall frm high n broke into pieces
saw u posted a pic wif him.hw cn u like dis
so fast.u take pic n post out.im nt dead i saw it d
it took me 6months to hv 1st pic wif u
bt around one week.u having a pic wif him ady
jz nw morning work place get scold.sien nia
dn noe lar wad i did n i get ntg.going gv up ady
nite time one of her old fren add me in fb last days ago
we having a chat about studies n all dat
n she chat till me n her stuff
she really gv me lots lots of gud advice
she experienced situation jz like me b4
told me c her nw wif other.dn go drunk n hurt myself ady
hurting myself no one will pity me.even is her
told me so many thing.n share wif me.i tears tonight...
time...will be the cure for everything...
n please dn simply tag someone in fb pic
bcz the pic nt belongs to u n him.dn tag him inside

6/12
dis few days back frm work very late sleep
sleep few hours wake up ady.cant sleep well
forget someone.how hard could it be?
but i jz cant forget it.so easily
cz i put all my heart for her
anyone undstd wad im saying...


5/12
back frm work oso tired ady.awhile 9smtg go sleep d
woke up check on fb agn..same thing everyday
n i saw u posted a pic.a pic frm beach over there
wrote over there DAR♥...n i was speechless.wad cn i do
bt ur dis pic.remind me memories wif u
i went back to read our valentines day post at blog
our 1st valentine day.go out together n celebrate it
d pic u take on dat day.which is write on beach too
sadness struck my heart agn.dat memories.wont forget it
i go c her new bf.profile n pic everything
i found dat he gt a gf b4 dis.in a random pic
dat pic was posted around july.its like 4 to 5months ago
should i tell u dis matter??or u knew dat ady...
i jz scare he lie on u.hw cn he so fast forget her gf
did he really love u?or jz playing a puppy love??
i really hope he truely love u.dn wn to c u get hurt...

4/12
today slept till 12 smtg.bt still nt enuf.jz woke up myself
whole day at home so damn boring.no program today
no fren on9 all work.no ppl acc.called my fren
bt hes wif his gf n her family going out
dn noe y start to miss u agn.i tried nt to miss ady ok
hanging at fb check updates.suddenly saw u at pangkor.wif HIM
oh shit dat feeling.i dn noe hw to describe.so awful.so bad
we together for 3years+.everytime ask u go vacation or smtg
u say bz work.tired n no money.bt u jz back frm ns 4days
together wif him for nt more than 1 month.u cn go wif him ady
its kinda sad for me,n u never tink about my feeling anymore...
jz cn hope u really enjoy wif him over ther,nite shift.fking boring


3/12
haha today is my off day.cz wn go relative wedding
early wake ady.so sleepy.fetch my my mom bro n sis go
wear smarter handsome handsome go c gt girl bo xDD
erm.today nt much ppl lor cz all come drink tea eh
finiz time all go to d guy side drink agn.end up i slept there
haha sit at d sofa so sleepy d i jz sleep over there.nice
aftnoon back time damn it traffic jam.all work haf day
jam so long frustrated wif d traffic at penang.bike d best =D
rest awhile night go out agn wif my aunt them.frm kl =]
1st time eat double chicken special burger.so damn full
its going to 5 ady.wana sleep gao gao today till late xD
aftnoon msg her ask her for penang pesta go for a walk
too bad she said going for travel dn noe hw long oso
jz cn wait her back mayb ask her agn??haha


2/12
back frm work.check on fb updates.den sleep ady sleepy
fren ask for bowling bt too sleepy cant ride bike will fall asleep
suddenly someone called.its a name.i never expect...
call for asking me smtg.thx bcz i cn hear ur voice =].i cant sleep back
sry finally i cant help u.dat machine cant bluetooth i oso dn noe d
fb saw u wrote the love things wif him.im jealous for no reason =[
since i cant sleep back.n work fren frm spore back to penang
wif them all go out take my dinner.james foo western food
hv a great chat n meal over there.love in mango drinks =]
back frm there still early ler.ntg do damn boring...
sit till ass oso pain r.on9 check updates oni.3smtg ady.wn lie d
hw cn i forget about u faster huh...

1/12
1st day of december.1st post of d month.im going to start new life
omg 1 slept for 1hour yesterday nite.im super duper fking sleepy
working cutting my things.n i fall asleep.epic!!!!
my fren in front of me.ask me u fall asleep r?i was lafing along
damn 1st time i dint get gud sleep so many days.n 1hour sleep
back frm work sure is on9 first.n i saw...ur fb wrote u back dy
owh i tot is 3rd of dec oni back.dint noe u so fast back dy
u oso chg frm complicated to single.its nt a bad thing anyway
jz kinda weird y so fast u back.dint go ask u oso.take 2hours nap
wake up n go for relative wedding dinner.wear very smart =D
8smtg my fren suddenly msg me.say i should forget her.weird -.-

aft i back frm dinner.open fb.den oni i noe d reason
she put in relationship wif another guy ady.so fast...??
its her ns fren.n i jz cn noe her thing by c her fb.cant msg her ady
back to my dinner.im enjoy today at there.eat lots.drink lotsss
envy+sad+happy to c a new married couple.when is my time =]
jz cn c all the happy moment of the couple.n imagine mine xD
drink lots of beer.some of red wine.head getting heavier
back driving car fetching my mom n sis.oh god pls awake haha
im drunk ady.at there going to finiz time.i order a last song ^^
爱很简单by陶喆...i jz tink of dis song dat time.nice...
a comfort for myself.a wish for my relative...singing along
back time my mom suddenly come in my room n ask me n her
told her everything.jz wad she ask me.makes my wana cry
keep asking y so long will end.ask me hw oni is gud enuf
did i sad,did i ask her back,did i wn her back,who ask to break
omg my tears is on my eye ady.try so hard to look away nt to cry
mom said.some fate still cn come back.bt some once lost.is lost~

30/11
today is 30/11.its been one month ady since u ask to be fren
if we still together.today oso we together 3years 5months ady
time past by really like a blink of eye...
yesterday sleep 2hours plus cant wake nearly late for work
work morning somemore busy.so sleepy today
aft work back jz lie for awhile den wake up d.cant sleep well
nite time finally frens confirm.go neway 11pm till midnight
haha 1st time i go neway oni.wont too late i tink.paiseh nia
go NS near qb eat mee goreng.den up for singing session
6ppl den 1smtg one more come.7ppl singing so damn siok!!!
i sing alots.hmm.song of u n me.song of me.song of sad n happy
after all im happy.cn enjoy wif my frens.crazy wif them.TODAY
we sing till 4am!!my voice going to lost ady.throat so pain
back home its 4.30.dint take bath ady 5am nw wn sleep ady =]

i tink all about u n me ady,i wont go find u like before ady
msg u frequently.care u so much.today is 30th,mayb its time dy
i wish u all d best,jz cn wish u happiness.n becareful by urself
no matter in work.or new relationship.or life.all the best for u
dat day present for u.hope u like it.nw is last present..my blessing
hope our fate to be couple end.bt still cn be fren =]
2more days n u r back frm ns ady.aft 77-4days holiday of NS life
dn noe y i msg u aft i back frm neway.wish u happy december xD

29/11
4smtg oni sleep yesterday.lucky work noon today =]
wake up go work ady.tension at work place
one ppl working today.dozen of a la carte order
wrote 6ppl.bt 20+ of orders.fuck i hate one ppl working
all my frens work morning shift.so lonely today
back frm work.dn noe y go youtube listen song
all i listen is i sing wif u before at redbox
still rmb we wn to sing one song.snatching d mike
dn let another to sing.i tink back n smile myself
ur birthday.we sing together.surprise u wif d cake i make
dat memories.hw cn i forget all dat...redbox  ♥
my heart still staying at ur place.dint come back yet =[

28/11
lie very long last nite.i dn even noe wad time i slept
aft work i hv a very long chat wif one fren at work place
i say out everything in my heart.sadness n happiness
she gt her relationship prob too,jz sharing each other
nite time.went out hv dinner wif frens,chat along
aft dinner raining i cant back.3 of us went to near airport
heavy rain.n jz to c the moment of aircraft landing
inside the car,i oso told them everything,so so many thing
they comfort me n gv me all d advice,its very useful for me
im glad to hv my frens when i feel ntg left for me in dis world
aft the long chat n waiting for d landing.we go to station one QB
over ther we hv long chat.talk about work n all dat
mayb leaving is d best for me.i cn leave dis sad place
too many memories of u n me over here.everywhere,tink of u
till 2smtg oni back.raining.is it crying for me?

27/11
yesterday stay late till 3smtg oni sleep ady.6 wake for work
very tired bt lie down oni tink bout u.cant close my eye
its sunday.i noe u gt ur phone.aft work.cant control myself
take out my guts n msg u agn.pretend to ask u about phone
finally u replied me.wif a short msg.bt im glad to c ur msg
bt awhile.u ask me to cut all the phone line of u n me
u said dn wn to waste my money.is it jz a reason to leave me?
i said u cn pay me back.bt u refuse to do dat.im so sad
i ask u agn.i promise to gv u time.if i wait no matter hw long
is it i wont hv chance oso.for u to reconsider about me
u ans.dn like my pattern.me for u.left 习惯(used to it) in ur life
dn wait u,no chance oso,u tired wif me ady...dis kills me
i start to drink in my room agn.i cant accept all dis reason
u said gt some1 ady,jz duno whether he suits u or not
i jz cn tell u wish u all the best.left the pain for myself
everyone said.appreciate.n effort for love.bt i get ntg at d end
hard to accept.b4 ns ur smiles n everything so true,bt nw...
nite go my cousin lil baby birthday,all my relatives
tried so hard to smile.i dn wn let them noe anything
bt my aunt,which gt fb.saw all my things,n hv a chat wif me
dis talk really let me noe many things..including leaving...
i cant protect her forever.mayb she will get hurt or meet failure
bt by dat way.she will noe who is d best for her.n get mature...
thx very much to my aunt.actually shes still young.26?haha
share many stories n experience wif me.let me relax nt so emo


25/11
so emo.think of u.felt so lonely
aft work was thinking go back n drink agn
bt frens ask me go out hv some drink n chat
at there i make myself crazy talk all lame stuff
jz to make them laf.make myself act ntg happen
bt inside my heart,no one undstd the wound i get
dis few days im scared to sleep.im scare to dream u agn
around 4 reach home.bt sit till 5smtg oni go lie down
nt i dn wn to sleep.i jz scare...once i sleep.i wish to sleep forever
its nt i dn wn to wake.jz wn to stay in dream wif u
i dn wn wake up open my eyes n accept d fact u r nt wif me
so long dint msg u ady.hw r u over there...

Friday, November 25, 2011

hey i felt like to post something

its middle of the night right now
and i cant sleep agn
its been around a week dint update ady
hws my life going?
everyday late sleep n wake early for work
dn wn to update blog cz i lost myself
hmmm...hw about start wif u
saturday sunday u take phone
u dint even bother to msg me anymore
u dn even care to scold me or ask me doing wad there
u dn wn to c my name anymore?
or jz hope i vanish frm dis world...
since u dn wn to find me i wont disturb u oso
dats d last thing i tell u.i hope i cn continue dis
i guess right nw u enjoying every time wif frens
going to finiz ur ns already.gt thinking of staying there?
back frm ns mz work already.sure abit lazy n excited
sure gt guys chase u over there ba.u gt gud requirements
u sure gt some1 always acc u ba.i hope he's nice =]
i dint get ur msg.my heart actually bleeds badly
bt since u wn ur own life.n im nt in ur world anymore
i will try to get tougher...

last few days continue work for 16hours 3days
jz hoping to get busy myself.dn tink of u
im exhausted n tiring.bt still will tink about u
its hard to forget someone i love so hard

today 24/11
aft u went for ns.i never hang out for so long ady
waiting for u come back n hang out wif u d
bt when u tell me we both be frens time
i knew its hard to go out wif u agn
today i go watch the movie i wish to watch wif u
b4 its shown of cinema i saw the trailer.i start to wait
waiting the day i date u together go watch dis movie
you are the apple of my eye.那些年,我们一起追过的女孩
bt dat day u came back frm ns for holiday
u watch wif ur frens ady,i noe no chance ady
i really wish cn watch wif u dis movie actually
bt today finally i go wif my 3buddies to watch
thx them actually.bcz 3 of them oso watch b4
willing to acc me go watch agn im very happy
dis is really a very nice movie.touching.n funny
watching the movie.some parts makes my eye,tears
i know movie is movie wont come true
bt i jz cn imagine the scene which is u n me
mayb...u going to marry to some1 u love
someone dat cn gv u wn u wn.while i jz cn wish u
i hope im dat one dat gives u happiness.but...
anyway today is another day for me
jz disappointed.bside me.its nt u anymore...
i wish cn hear ur laugher agn bside me.my dear love

sometime.i still will look at my phone wait for ur msg
b4 sleep still thinking to hv ur call to sleep
do smtg wrong n scolded at me.n make u laf back
without you in my life.my world so dark =[
its 4am.another post by a sad side of me

Monday, November 14, 2011

13/11.i mz stop.this for u.LJJ

morning aft finiz my work
fast go georgetown buy the porridge u like
i ask u b4 wn date u go eat bt morning sell oni
u say lazy wake n gt work tired cant go
so today i fast go buy wn put at ur hse
ltr ur parents come time cn take for u eat
bt aft buy n going to ur hse
u msg me said cant take in n scold me ask 1st
last time i ask u scold me say can take in
i noe next time no chance take u go eat
dats y i jz go buy for u today while i still cn
bt finally u jz scold me n dint reply me anymore

i dn noe y.slowly ride my bike
i ride till ur camp agn...dis is my 3rd day come le
i guess today u on duty.sneak at bus there hope cn c u
bt wait for hours n still dint c u
i tink u inside office dint come out ady
jz cn back home wif disappointment feeling
dis time is last time i like dis oso le
i wont sneaky go n try to c u anymore.im sorry

noe u busy whole day n nid to go for buddha class
bt i dint get ur reply i jz very hard to go trough
finally i msg u.n i tell u i check on u
dis is making u hate me more?
bt i oso tell u all my feeling le
im jealous of him.n i dn wn to lose u
i wish i cn hear u say gv a chance to we two
i hope u cn gv a chance to me.i cn chg anything for u
no matter wad u wn me to chg oso cn.all jz for u
bt u return phone oso le no chance to get ur answer
today.i tell u all my feeling.i really wnt go kek u agn
we both many things hv chg.when u said break.u chg le
u say treat me as fren.bt i hope u really mean it.as fren
one things for sure dint chg.i still loving u so much jia
i will gv u time.no matter hw long is it.i will wait for u
hope when u tink le.u will gv me a ans.no matter wad ans

while waiting for u
i will chg myself.to a better man
hope when u back time.cn c a diff me
eventhough our relation chg le.my care to u nvr chg
i will try to be more open minded
i wont drink till so bad torture myself ady
if u dn wn c my name.i wont appear in ur phone
i still miss.ur hugs.hugging u.the world is all mine
wish my wish cn come true.soon or later
effort to get back my love.miss lee jia jia

Saturday, November 12, 2011

keep lying myself

today morning i went to dat place agn
raining today all no activity
i tink all cn sleep oso very gud
back time i make a call
n wad i heard.make me hurts
actually i noe all things about u
i dn noe whether u lie me or telling truth
bt i wont ask u anymore
since u wn to hide frm me
i wont tell u i noe all dat n open ur lies
before dis all the moment wif me.is dat love?
do you really love me before dis?
hw cn our relation for 3years plus
u say end n end up so cruely
hw cn u dn even bother me anymore now...
our relation really means nothing to you mar?
i jz cn slowly suffer the pain
i noe u at there very happy nw
gt ppl acc u on call all dat
u dn wn msg me i oso wont disturb u agn
if i no meaning to u anymore.i wont force u d...

Friday, November 11, 2011

in dis special day.11/11/11

haha.today in dis special day
i done a freaking crazy thing
aft work i went to a place
a place dat is so far
travelled for around 20km
yet i reach n see for 3minutes
im satisfied n leave dat place
today i will rmb
bcz i cn do wad i wn.c wad i wn
i wish i cn c u dat time
back time its already 10 smtg
sleepy oso larh
do all thing n on9 awhile 12 oni sleep

today i oso saw smtg dat im curious about
haha.if today i cn hv a wish
i wish.i cn hv a call frm u
its months ago since u call me
today u at there exercise all enjoy?
gt fren gv u surprise or anything special?
hope u cn happy always ya ^^

Thursday, November 10, 2011

tmr is 11/11/11

early morning late sleep agn
sleepy bt jz cant sleep when lie down
my mom asked me
y recently u so late sleep n early wake
i jz cn smile n walk away
bcz i dn noe hw to ans ur question
in my dream.its very suffer for me
today i hypnotize myself to sleep
forcing myself to sleep long enough
awake n keep lying at bed.till 6pm wake up
no one at home.alone eat bath sit sofa look up at sky
my life is so meaningless right now

tmr is 11/11/11
its the day im waiting for to do smtg for u
bt i dn hv dis chance anymore...
u at there.sure rmb dis day.cz spend wif ur frens
at dis special day.im wishing to hang out wif u
bt for u.u will rmb dis day.cz u at NS go trough
im nt asking for anything more
jz hope cn get a call frm u.calling me dis fren...

the moon looks very nice for me
bt i jz cn pray to the moon.to make my wish come true
its 15th of chinese calender
hope u at there.look up the sky if see the moon
its the same moon u see jz like me

from time to time.im talking to sky.asking myself
wad r u doing right now.is it chatting n enjoying?
imagine-ing wad u doing right there...
STUPID.yet its a way for me to comfort myself

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

i jz back.wif sadness

i jz back wif my fren jia chee
he fetching his gf go out n ask me
fetch me go 1st avenue
they go buy smtg den oni put his gf
reach 1st avenue
i jz following their back because
all the memories wif u flash out agn
i really wish u were here wif me
still rmb we at there laughing all the way
go there hv our meal n shopping
all dat.is the memories i cherish
aft he put his gf we go hv dinner
we chat n laugh.bt i dn dare tell him
hw stupid am i.wif him chat.bt tinking bout her

back home.i saw the moon so bright n round
so beautiful.i wish u cn acc me sitting there
enjoying the moonlight scenery...
nw...i oni wn to tell myself
pls let me keep the memories.i cn recall anytime
u at there enjoying wif frens mar?
still tired mar??did u c the moonlight too?
hope u cn enjoy it too
11/11/11 coming.the day i wish to spend wif u =[

once...our memories.my happiness

so sleepy jz nw morning
yesterday nt enuf sleep
back time on9 awhile
den lie at my bed cant sleep
go out lie at sofa
fall asleep le
bt sleep for 4hours wake d
aikz

i dream about my happiness
3years ago.ur skul holiday time
still rmb our first time outing?
u help me to make my hair straight
help me to do all nice nice
we go qb wif ur frens sit bus
dats d 1st time our outing
back time we sit bus too
at bus.u was tired n sleepy
i find a place for u den we two sit
u slowly put ur head at my shoulder
den sleep at there.dats d moment i dream
dat moment i never forget it.im so 幸福
i really miss dat time we two love each other
in our eyes.gt each other.is happiness ady
first time outing.n my first time so happy

i miss you agn
i wn to stop crying bcz im guy
bt i jz cant do it.bcz i love you jia T.T

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

you're back to camp

im very sleepy today
u going back
morning cant sleep well
awhile wake ady
did u noe i keep take my hp c gt msg or nt
i was hoping to get ur msg to chat wif me
bt its 3pm already.i cant wait n msg u agn
thx for replying my msg jz nw b4 u back
although u still ntg to say wif me
bt u still make urself reply me.im glad
u back return phone time.im lost agn
i keep shouting n release my stress
i jz cant afford to lose you my love
still rmb the day i bring u to take the ns letter
dat moment u ask me y so sad
bcz i dn wn u to leave me.i dn wn things chg
if i gt a chance.i hope u never get the ns thing
i dn wn u to go.dn wn u leave me my girl

i tried to sleep jz nw
bt once i close my eye
all i c is u.i really c u
i cant make myself fall asleep
i miss you i love you
all the moment we go through
all the thing i done for u
all the smile dat u gv me
i cant forget about it i so suffer
my sleep is see all dis memory like movie
i love you too deep making myself like dis
lee jia jia.i willing sacrifice anything to chg
bt did u still hv feeling to me?
i very appreciate we both.dis relationship
i promise every year make a bday cake for u
u said u will waiting my surprise every year
all dis promises.vanish le mar?cried so bad T.T

im in serious pain =[

omg work whole night
my head damn pain
no penadol to eat no time to rest
like my brain shrinking larh lol

today u going back ns ady
yesterday dn noe where u go
so late still dint reply really worry
msg ask whether u back ady or nt
u jz replied back le
no more msg frm u anymore
dn noe is it really ntg to say wif me le
hope we r still fren ba...
dn noe wad time u back hw u back oso
wish u gud luck in ur camp ya
we r jz fren.if u dn wn say.nt a prob oso

keep raining.really affecting my mood
so cold n so down
looks like going to insomnia agn =[
11/11/11.anyone willing to date me?haha
hope its a gud day dat time

Monday, November 7, 2011

the last time,no more repeating

sry dat im a jerk
i dint mean to disturb u
keep saying bout him
mayb i jz cant control myself
keep lying myself.bt im too over le
i hope u cn accept my apologize too
i noe u n him is ntg.i nt wn to blame u ya
u n him jz normal fren.dat msg n call talk oni
im sry to keep saying u...

yesterday thx to my buddy jia chee
thx for willing to listen to my problem
i oso wn to b her frens.wait her back
slowly chg myself n chase her back
bt nw she jz treat me as a fren
a fren which i dn noe hw to explain
she din even gv me a chance a hope nw
she dn love me anymore.nw jz like a new fren relation
bt i cant forget about her.all about her all the time
ignoring me maybe is better for her
i jz wn to date u out.hv a movie.meal.n a talk
as a last gift for me b4 i leave.my last wish
bt nt going to come true anymore

the alcohol ruined my body.nw so suffer everyday
nw i wont drink red wine n tiger beer together.experience
keep vomiting n no apetite to eat nw
cant even sleep well.nw im like a dead man
i tried so hard to smile n cover my wound
bt i cant make it...
maybe im leaving earlier.mayb cant even c u anymore
at here.no matter go where.oso flash out shadow of u
mayb wif u too long.bcome a rely to u
i jz worry other guy dn noe is which type
scare they is playing dat type.lie ur feeling
i jz worry other guy cant protect u
bt im so stupid.u noe who is gud n bad
if im leaving.i hope i cn make a new life myself

sry to make u hate me n felt so disturbing
i wont do dis anymore.today i promise myself
if u treat me as fren.i will treat u as fren
if u tink of me.a msg will make me feels better
if nt so fren.ntg say to me.i oso wont msg disturb u agn
u said should go out c the world n noe more frens
dis oni considered as a life.bt i cant do it le
thx dat day.u called me to fetch u
i cn hear ur voice for few second
i cn c ur face in car.mayb dat moment is ur awful time
sitting there n ntg cn talk to me
but i wont forget it.dat night.my last piece
i dn wn to regret till the moment u leave me
i love u.n the place always belongs to u
hope someday.somewhere.we cn still met up...